What is The Voice Dialogue Method?
When we present our external self to the world, it is often influenced by other parts or selves hidden in the shadows. Voice Dialogue allows you to meet these inner selves in a structured and direct way. Increasing awareness of how they operate gives you more control over their messages so they won’t continue to sabotage you.
“The Voice Dialogue experience was unlike anything I have ever done in any kind of one-on-one coaching or counseling, etc. It stands by itself as a uniquely helpful process. I am noticing a new calmness and a different approach to daily problems, mistakes, dilemmas, etc. These kinds of things typically result in a cacophony of negative voices and thoughts usually that lead me down dead ends. The Voice Dialogue experience created a kind of separation, a new place that gives me a chance to thoughtfully recognize myself as separate from the “voice.” Because I recognize this space, I can take a moment to dial down most negative voices - not just the one that was interviewed in our dialogue. I feel like I found a part of myself in a healthy way. As you’ve said, the object is not to eliminate the voices, just recognize them, acknowledge them and put them in perspective. Anyway, it doesn’t feel like I have uncovered something bad and pathological, just something that is a natural part of me, but not the entire me.
I had no idea of what to expect, but I trusted in the process and the results have been beyond my expectations. The dialogue has also enabled me to see for the first time, just how this voice has been a kind of protector through most of my life.”
The premise of Voice Dialogue is that we all have a cadre of inner “selves” that we hear in our mind. For example, you might have a Not Good Enough self? An Always Be In Control self? How about a Seeking Approval self? They came to protect you in response to conflicting, dysfunctional, and perhaps abusive behavior you experienced in your formative years. Influences from parents, school, religion, peer pressure, and society at large can separate you from your inner nature and wisdom.
Over time, these selves take their roles seriously, becoming primary voices that influence the choices you make. For example, it’s like getting in a car to drive somewhere. But instead of you taking the wheel, let’s say Not Good Enough (NGE) takes over while you end up in the back seat. NGE puts the pedal to the metal and takes you for a ride. Now you can’t feel anything but not good enough as you interact with the world. As you continue to default to this message, you may find yourself in repetitive patterns that sabotage you. And there’s more because for every primary voice, there is a disowned voice that longs to be heard hidden even further in the shadows. You may actually have a Competent self, but if NGE is driving, that self has been relegated to the trunk of the car. You can’t even imagine yourself being competent.
If certain primary selves are always taking control, this leads to feeling stuck and unable to make decisions. You may feel restless, out of synch, and not quite certain of who you really are or how to travel your own path. How can you gain more control and balance? By growing a more aware ego.
With the technique of Voice Dialogue, you are given the chance to get to know these inner selves, their history, roles, memories, and how they function. Each self can be brought to your awareness so you can speak from that voice. It is a powerful way to learn how to work with their influences. What was hidden in the shadows (the Dark Heart) comes into focus. You begin to operate from an aware ego, gaining balance and control.
My training in this therapeutic technique has given many of my clients the ability to make new choices free from the influence of the sabotaging, default voices that used to hold them back. The wisdom to make creative choices is already held within your “selves.”